

They still hover around the upper reaches of the thigh, while maintaining an obvious margin away from your derriere. But the general consensus is this: trunks are shorter than boxer briefs, but not as short as straight up briefs. Sometimes, the two overlap, making the distinction even blurrier.

To add even more confusion to the mix (underwear: it's a lot like politics), plenty of brands take liberties with what they label as men’s trunks versus what they label as boxer briefs. There isn't much of one, really-the differentiating factors are so minute that they don't even register to most people. If you just googled “difference between boxer briefs and trunks”, you’re not alone. So much so, in fact, the right pair of boxer trunks might convince you to switch your underwear affiliation once and for all. Unlike America's gridlocked electoral landscape, though, the best men's trunks deserve a bit more consideration than whatever crackpot nominee shares ballot space with the real contenders. Wear something warm.Much like our political system, the men's underwear market is mostly dominated by two parties: boxer briefs and boxer shorts. A flaming Viking funeral service will be held at midnight of the winter solstice on the Alaskan side of the Bering Sea. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to one of those places that freezes sperm before their owner does something dumb like lose his wiener to frostbite. They were preceded by The Use of Duct Tape to Insulate One’s Johnson, The Dual-Purpose Sock, and the short-lived and unfortunately wired Electric Undies. The Zepher Wind Boxer Briefs are survived by my son, who would never have been conceived if it hadn’t been for them. Half boxer, half brief, they were all purpose: protect that most inglorious member of the male form. They never graced the limbs of an Ibex catalog model, preferring to stand alone and unafraid against a backdrop of digital white. Yes, the penny-wise balked at the $60 price point, but admitted their pound-foolish strategy after spending just one morning prostrate from the repeated kick to the balls that is The Slowly Thawing Corpus Spongiosum.īut in the end, it may have been that very utilitarianism-the firm adherence to form before fashion-that undid the Zepher Wind. It was durability, not aesthetics, that drove the only re-design: the extension of the windproof panel into fermunda territory after multiple wearers reported early wear and cold drafts against their perineal regions. Arctic endurance nuts proclaimed the nylon panel superior to the time-honored tradition of shoving rabbit fur down their tighties and the sole reason they could satisfy partners after the temp dipped to negative 42 Fahrenheit with the wind chill.ĭespite the accolades, the Zepher Wind remained true to its roots as a working-class unmentionable. Second: that windproof flap was the real deal. Supporters agreed on, first, the superior comfort and breathability of stench-proof, eco-conscious merino wool. That shiny panel of nylon wind-blocking material over the groin? An unholy marriage of flak jacket and banana hammock.

Born in 2012 from an armload of cruelty-free merino wool donated by a Shireling lamb-and from the necessity of frostbite-proofing one’s junk from head-on polar gusts-the Zepher Wind quickly became the environmental chastity belt of comfortable manties. The Ibex Zepher Wind Boxer Briefs died last winter at the age of 3, leaving behind an unparalleled legacy of service to the male reproductive system.Īs grape-smugglers go, their roots were humble yet profound.
